March 24th, 2008
That is right boys and girls… You may have thought DirtyApu deserted you but here I am back and better than ever. I took a little holiday from the blogging but believe it when I tell you I haven’t given Dunasty or Deekeye any holiday. I have been kicking their ass on a regular basis and making them cry like little girls. Just to prove my point I am going to include several ass whoopin’s they have received over the past few month for all you little Apuster’s to enjoy. Don’t get to excited when you see these boy’s and girls… The best is yet to come!

Dunasty Loves the camping but on Oct. 7 2007, camping couldn’t save his sorry a$$.

That’s right boys and girls take a look at these scores. These ladies were certainly tasting the shoe polish today!
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October 8th, 2007
That’s right little Apuster’s I am back and let me catch you up on the latest happenings in Apuland… First of all Dunasty was shamed and finally realized that he was not going to win no matter how hard he tried and started staying in the game till the end. Chalk one up for the little Apusters out there. (Persistant ass whippings pay off!)
Next the Tri-Quakers have found some exciting new diggs along with an augmented form of play that allows the Apuster’s talents to shine ever so brightly. That’s right boy’s and girl’s as if you didn’t know already the Apuster is still kicking off in some ass at every turn of the game. These boy’s thought throwing a gaggle of bots in the mix might improve their chances… WRONG! The Apuster whipped all those asses. As you can see by the score it was quiet the Melee. Have no fear little Apusters your hero prevailed and kicked more ass than ever before.
I have never seen so many whipped asses. It was a whip, whip here. A whip, whip there. Here a whip there a whip everywhere a whip, whip. Ol’ Apuster had a Melee Ee i ee i o!!! I will tell you this boy’s and girls… in the midst of kicking so much ass and shoving rockets down these punks throat the Apuster managed to have a little fun.
That’s all for now little Apusters… Until next time (as always)…… Peace
DirtyApu
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Posted by DirtyApu
September 26th, 2007
That’s right its a sad sad day to find out that Dunasty is deliberatley trying to Hornswaggle all you little Apusters. In an obvious attempt to prevent the Great Apu from capturing evidence of an obvious beat down, Dunasty has taken to some very nasty habits. As you can see from the last couple of post the full wrath of Apu has not been played out. Why is that you may ask… well it happens to be that in a very cowardly fashion Dunasty likes to wait until the Apuster has almost finalized the OG beatdown and then jump out of the game.
That’s right boys and girls there is no level to low to which Dunasty will stoop in an attempt to keep the news of another smack down from reaching all you little Apusters. But have no fear for your hero is here! That’s right little Apusters, DirtyApu is always one step ahead of these yahooies I took a screen shot before the game was over so that all of you could relish in the victory that is Apu!
Stay tuned boy’s and girls and Apu will keep you up to date on all the dirty dealings of the opposition and all the triumphs of the Apu nation!
Until next time……. Peace
Apu
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Posted by DirtyApu
September 20th, 2007
That is right all you boy’s and girl’s in Apu land… Like they say in Texas if you mess with the bull you get the Horns. Apu give these punks the horn and made em like it. These punks just don’t know when to stop. Deekeye e-mails me talking a bunch of trash about returning one of my blue light specials well this girlie man obviously doesn’t know Apu don’t have a return policy. That’s right little Apuster’s you take a blue light special from Apu and you might as well get ready to tote it around for a while cause we don’t have no customer service department.

I am happy to run a special for these boys any day of the week but don’t think for a miniute Apu will let them return the favor. These girlie men said “Apu your beating up on us cause we are killing each other”. Well here you go boys and girls a little evidence that Apu can not only kick off in some ass against both these pucks at once but he can do it one on one too.
All you little Apuster’s out there repeat after me… Apu winning, Keeps us grinning!!!
Until next time little Apuster’s…. Peace….V
DirtyApu
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September 12th, 2007
That’s right Apu in the hizzy wit da Mad Squabbles. I am back and kicking more ass than ever before. What these punks think they doing in Apu’s hizzy? Get out my house!!! While these two sissy’s were muff punching each other the Apuster was kicking off in their ass. Rockets flying, shotgun blasts, Rail gun fire, and the Apuster came through like Rambo… Without a scratch.
Thats right these boys were taking it like the French… (You know getting their ass kicked without fighting back.) Ha Ha. Well little Apusters once again your hero has prevailed. I ran a blue light special these boys won’t soon forget. Speaking of blue light specials, you can just refer to the Apuster as a K-mart radio cause I don’t play!
All you little Apusters out there stay tuned and watch for the next episode of the ApuFu. Thats kind of like KongFu except Apu is doing ALL the ass kicking.
Until next time little Apusters… Peace V…….
DiryApu
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Posted by DirtyApu
July 31st, 2007
That’s right boy’s and girl’s the word for the day is “Almost”. Can you say Almost boy’s and girl’s? Deekeye and Dunasty Almost avoided an ass whoopin today. They Almost avoided catching a rocket up the ass from the Apuster and they Almost got enough points to win. The key word for all you little Apusters out there is they “Almost” did all these things. Almost isn’t good enough to keep Apu from Fraggin that ass!!
That is right little Apuster’s I happened upon Dunasty trying to let his Blue Light Special shine on thru but Apu stuffed that bargain back on the shelf and decided to run a special of his own. Deekeye was winning big in the beginning and faded fast. Then just when Dunasty thought he had it all sewn up… Alacablam!!! The Apuster layed the smack down in Apu Town. I took them down to Jabronie street and checked them into the smack down hotel. (Their room there is booked for the whole week!) Ha Ha
All the little Apuster’s repeat after me “Almost Winning keeps Apu Grinning” Ha Ha. Till next time little Apuster’s Peace V….
DirtyApu
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July 27th, 2007


That’s right little Apusters, another un-advertised blue light special was run today on ass whoopins. Dunasty said I’ll take two!! As you can see Deekeye passed on the first but just couldn’t resist the second opportunity. Apu loves to run Blue light specials, it just makes me feel good to offer ass whoopins at a discount to all my friends.

I must say today’s special was filled with all kinds of goodies… Rockets, grenades, and even a few shotguns for the luck few who happened to be around when I offered the special. I even give away a couple of wingtips when they got stuck in some asses. (Ha Ha I didn’t want them back after where they had been.)
Hurry and get in on some real down home ass whoppins and you too could get lucky enough to happen upon one of my specials. Now all it takes to sign up is a crisp new $100 dollar bill sent to my paypal account @ [email protected]. You must be a member in order to take advantage of the blue light specials so make your reservations today. You will immediately receive your first beat down upon payment. Hurry while the ass whoopins are still cheap!!
Deekeye and Dunasty Did!!!
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Posted by DirtyApu
July 24th, 2007
Yes that is right… Apu was running an unadvertised special today on Ass Whoopin’s and Dunasty decided to go for the bargain. Sorry for all you who missed out on the special (Deekeye) but you just never know I am likely to offer one on a given day! It’s all about being at the right place at the right time. Thats right little Apusters… it was blue light special time today. A real two for one deal on a special ass whoopin from the Mighty Apu. Sad but True!
Who will be the next contestant on the Ass Whoopin is right? Johnny take it away… Deekeye Stinkeye, Come on down. Your the next contestant on the Ass Whoopin is right!!!!
DirtyApu
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Posted by DirtyApu
July 24th, 2007
That’s right little apusters… I’m back and kicking more ass than ever. Just look at the latest score from a recently played game. As you can see the Apuster was handing out a bit of “Act Right” to these yahooies that call themselves Quake players. They are really just Quaking in there boots when the Apuster steps into the squared circle with them. While they are getting a little better they are still no match for the great Apu!!!
Stay tuned to see Apu lights up some more Asses.
If you would like to be a contestant on the Apu show and get your ass lit up please send $100 dollar to my paypal account and I will proceed to light up your ass just like I do these noobs. Entire day ass lightings are $1000. Apu is not responsible for feelings of extreme humiliation.
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Posted by DirtyApu
January 11th, 2007

This post comes a bit belated but just to re-cap what happend before the Christmas vacation, Apu was in the giving mood so he proceeded to give a special Christmas time ass whooping to the Dunasty! I was in such a giving mood I give him a beat down that would last all season. I am sure his pride is still hurting. Sammy Clause came a little early this year for the Dunasty one.
My only regreat is that Deekeye was AWOL as usual so he could not join in for the Christmas giving session. Well maybe in 2007 someone will improve their skills and give the Apuster some competition. (Or maybe not)
Anyway, I am sure that 2007 will hold all new lows for Deekeye and Dunasty. They will need a pry bar to get the Apuster off they ass!
Peace my Shizzle!
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